


made up for romance

by amosanguis



Series: creature AUs [64]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Navy SEALs as Cryptids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 06:29:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17955344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis
Summary: “I know what you are,” Danny says, facing away from Steve.“Say it,” Steve says, “say it out loud.”“SEAL. You’re a Navy SEAL.”





	made up for romance

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by, and title taken from, [this tweet](https://twitter.com/TaliaHibbert/status/1088168591663529994).
> 
> If you don't feel like clicking the link, the tweet says: "By the way you guys, I just learned the other day that Navy SEALs are real. I thought they were like... made up for romance. And we all just agreed to do the same thing."
> 
> Please don't take this seriously.

-z-

 

In retrospect, Danny should’ve figured it out the first time Steve talked about using grenades to solve a problem or the really intense way Steve approaches simple tasks like cooking pasta or cleaning the grill. But hindsight is always 20/20 and Danny ignores the feeling of shame, and maybe a niggling of fear, at being so blind – at missing something so _big_.

 

“I know what you are,” Danny says, facing away from Steve because Danny knows that if he looks at Steve, Danny’ll lose his nerve.

“Say it,” Steve says, _orders_ – his breath ghosting over the shell of Danny’s ear, making Danny shiver, “say it out loud.”

Danny takes a breath, reaches for his courage, and, through a fear-tight throat, whispers, “SEAL. You’re a Navy SEAL.”

 

In Danny’s (admittedly weak) defense, Steve is very distracting. But once the truth has been spoken between them, Danny scours every book and chases down every internet rumor that he can.

SEALs were known for their elusiveness – they were ghosts, generally only leaving behind smoking debris and the enemy dead piled high. It was believed that since no body of a SEAL had ever been recovered, that they themselves couldn’t die – reportedly sustaining themselves by munching on their victims’ flesh or maybe feeding off fear or chaos and, according to one message board post riddled with spelling errors, the light of the full moon.

Danny finally gives up and asks Steve directly. Steve’s the one who made Danny say it, so now Steve’s the one who has to answer all of Danny’s questions.

“I hate to spoil whatever you’ve got cookin’ in your head,” he says, “but I prefer Kamekona’s shrimp platter to terrorists’, uh, _flesh_.”

Danny nods, valiantly ignoring Steve’s stupid pun. The man may be some kind of cryptid, but he’s still the biggest dork Danny’s ever come across.

“Yeah, that tracks,” Danny says. He’s just turning to leave Steve’s office but then he decides to go ahead and just ask the other question he has: “I take it you don’t bathe in the blood of your enemies, do you, babe?”

“Just soap and water, Danno,” Steve says, the corners of his lips curling upward into an amused smile.

“Boring,” Danny says, leaving Steve’s office in an exaggerated huff.

 

Danny hands their suspect over to HPD before he slaps the back of his hand to Steve’s bicep as Steve’s walking by, heading towards the Camaro.

“Poison glands?” Danny asks.

“No,” Steve answers, not even breaking his stride at the question, smiling as he watches Danny fall into step beside him.

“Breathe underwater?”

“With the right gear, yeah.”

“Fins?”

“Only the rubber ones you got me for Christmas last year.”

Danny doesn’t say that he didn’t know what Steve was last year or that if he did, his gift choices might have been a little (a lot) different, but they’re at the car now and Steve’s peeling away from the scene like his tail’s on fire. Which—

“Do you have a tail?”

And that one makes Steve bark out a surprised laugh that he quickly smothers before he turns to Danny and says, “No. But if you don’t believe me, you can always check yourself.”

Danny blinks. “Did you just proposition me?”

“Did it work?” Steve counters.

And there’s a little hint of hesitation in Steve’s voice, a new line of tension in the way he’s holding himself and his grip on the steering wheel.

So Danny grins and says, “Absolutely, babe.”

 

They order pizza and beer and fall into bed and, in the morning, Danny makes them both pancakes.

“Are you mad,” Steve asks, chewing around a forkful of pancake, “that I’m not like how they describe SEALs on the internet?”

Danny snorts and rolls his eyes before he leans over and presses a quick kiss to the tip of Steve’s nose. “No, Steven,” he says. Then he lets a smile spread over his face, one that he knows is too soft and too goofy, but can’t find he cares much – not when the same smile is mirrored on Steve’s face. “You’re perfect.”

Steve looks away, just for a second, before he looks back up at Danny and says, “You are, too.”

 

-z-

 

End.


End file.
